Trying to live a right life

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avisitor
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Trying to live a right life

Post by avisitor » Fri Apr 26, 2019 8:53 pm

Situation:
Work part time at a store for a couple hours at night
Lady parked car in private store parking lot during the day
Comes in later at night and asked what happened to her car

Apparently, her car was towed away for parking and leaving her car in store parking lot without shopping in store
Parking is for three hours for shopping in the store
She admits to parking there for five hours without shopping in the store

She asked for help from you.
Pleads with you, saying she has no money to pay to get her car out
And she needs to get home to her children

Question:
What should a person who is trying to live a right life suppose to do?
What is the right thing to do?
What would you do?
What is your thinking about this situation?
What action produces the least Karmic result?
Last edited by avisitor on Fri Apr 26, 2019 9:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Mason
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by Mason » Fri Apr 26, 2019 9:38 pm

Guo Gu once told me this phrase: "Body like a rag, mind like a mirror."

Help if you can but don't be deceived. If that situation arises for you, you will see how you respond. It is hard to premeditate on questions like this. Too many variables.

A while ago, a homeless man sat down at my table while I was eating a sandwich. He seemed quite sincere. I gave him a bunch of money and a hug. One of the best experiences in my life! But if it were a different person, I may have acted differently.

Just try your best pretty much. Life is complicated. WWJD? (What would Joe do?) ;)
"The Way needs no cultivation, just do not defile. What is defilement? When with a mind of birth and death one acts in a contrived way, then everything is a defilement. If one wants to know the Way directly: Ordinary Mind is the Way!"

- Record of Ma-tsu

avisitor
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by avisitor » Fri Apr 26, 2019 9:53 pm

Mason wrote:
Fri Apr 26, 2019 9:38 pm
Guo Gu once told me this phrase: "Body like a rag, mind like a mirror."

Help if you can but don't be deceived. If that situation arises for you, you will see how you respond. It is hard to premeditate on questions like this. Too many variables.

A while ago, a homeless man sat down at my table while I was eating a sandwich. He seemed quite sincere. I gave him a bunch of money and a hug. One of the best experiences in my life! But if it were a different person, I may have acted differently.

Just try your best pretty much. Life is complicated. WWJD? (What would Joe do?) ;)
This actually happened.
It is not pre-meditate on questions like this.
I know what I did. Not proud. Not a fool.

I wanted to know what others think is the proper thing to do

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desert_woodworker
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by desert_woodworker » Fri Apr 26, 2019 10:22 pm

Mason,
Mason wrote:
Fri Apr 26, 2019 9:38 pm
Guo Gu once told me this phrase: "Body like a rag, mind like a mirror."

Help if you can but don't be deceived. If that situation arises for you, you will see how you respond. It is hard to premeditate on questions like this. Too many variables.

A while ago, a homeless man sat down at my table while I was eating a sandwich. He seemed quite sincere. I gave him a bunch of money and a hug. One of the best experiences in my life! But if it were a different person, I may have acted differently.

Just try your best pretty much. Life is complicated. WWJD? (What would Joe do?) ;)
I like Guo Gu's phrase: "Body like a rag, mind like a mirror."

Ready to bend and adapt, and mind quiet and empty in order to reflect the friend's state back to him or her. This takes practice... . Cannot be faked-up.

Dunno. What I do is go to my bank twice a year or so and get 100 one-dollar bills. It's called a "strap". A "strap" of Singles.

The bank Teller will count them out for you on a fast counting machine device in front of you as you watch behind the thick bullet-resistant Plexiglas. "100", it says on the machine's LCD display when it's done, bright enough for you to see as the customer standing a few feet from her machine. Well, sometimes his machine.

I carry 10 or so singles in my wallet at all times. Whenever somebody asks me for dough, I give him or her some. One, two, three, or more singles. No biggie; Icch. Just give. People need.

Last Dec. I bought-up a strap of 100 TWO-dollar bills! I came to question later, though, if this was so cool after all: suppose the folks asking for money are too hesitant to spend such a rare thing-y as a $2 bill? But, would they really keep it in their archive, pocket? Nah, I guess not. Meanwhile, it keeps my own wallet thinner to give out $2 bills instead of singles. I still have a few of them Deuces. Brand new. In serial-number-order. Crisp!!

Usually when I gave out singles, I'd give out at least TWO, and I'd say, "They're nicer in PAIRS".

Some guys/gals play music for me, some just ask for money, take it, and walk away.

I walk away quiet, and having given thanks if they played music. ;)

My own income is a little (1.5x?) above poverty-level, but I don't use ALL of it. I keep an eagle-eye out for who seems to need some on the street or byways, and if the folks ask, well, then, they get some. Well, this doesn't answer your question. But that wasn't my intention. ;)

Yours, and yours for all o' y'all,

nice to give out greenbacks when possible,

Share a smile and a handshake, etc., and sometimes a story!; Solid.

(oh: making me think of The Greatful Dead's, "Wharf Rat". I'll post the track here in the Music asylum at this site in a minute; lyrics may take me two minutes to grab, but I'll post them too).

:namaste:

--Joe

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Great Sage EofH
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by Great Sage EofH » Fri Apr 26, 2019 10:51 pm

avisitor wrote:
Fri Apr 26, 2019 8:53 pm
Situation:
Work part time at a store for a couple hours at night
Lady parked car in private store parking lot during the day
Comes in later at night and asked what happened to her car

Apparently, her car was towed away for parking and leaving her car in store parking lot without shopping in store
Parking is for three hours for shopping in the store
She admits to parking there for five hours without shopping in the store

She asked for help from you.
Pleads with you, saying she has no money to pay to get her car out
And she needs to get home to her children

Question:
What should a person who is trying to live a right life suppose to do?
What is the right thing to do?
What would you do?
What is your thinking about this situation?
What action produces the least Karmic result?
The good karma is to help out when you can, but if it's not possible don't worry about it. As you can see, her actions are irresponsible in more than one way, and by depending on others to bail her out of her mistakes, she's not really learning or growing. You could for example ask around and see if anyone is already going her way. Carbon footprint and all.
"We are magical animals that roam" ~~ Roam

avisitor
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Location: Albany, NY

Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by avisitor » Fri Apr 26, 2019 11:11 pm

Great Sage EofH wrote:
Fri Apr 26, 2019 10:51 pm
The good karma is to help out when you can, but if it's not possible don't worry about it. As you can see, her actions are irresponsible in more than one way, and by depending on others to bail her out of her mistakes, she's not really learning or growing. You could for example ask around and see if anyone is already going her way. Carbon footprint and all.
If you can not help them then do not let it bother you?
Guess it is not your responsibility?

So, your actions are based upon your judgement of the person and their actions?
If they are bad then don't help them?
May be you are justifying your actions?

As I see it, this is not a blame game.
Whatever a person has done, it should not diminish a person as a person.

I am not proud of my choice to not help her with money to pay the $300 dollars to get her car out.
Am working hard to have money to pay my bills
And each month they come whether I am ready for them or not.
So, I said that I could not help her.
But, she gave me her sad story.
And her children waiting for her.
I looked into her eyes and for whatever reason she turned away.

It bothers me that I could not be better and help out.
But, somehow I don't think money was the answer, although some think it is always the answer
So this is what they focus on ... two dollar bills ... lol :109:

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desert_woodworker
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by desert_woodworker » Fri Apr 26, 2019 11:38 pm

hi Av,

I don't get it (wouldn't be the first, nor prob. last, time).

People ask for dough, I give it, if I've got. What's the mystery? It's just natural.

If you mean that "money" won't help everything, you're right. But when people ask, sometimes a stick of gum is not enough (I don't smoke ciggies and can't offer tobacco; well, actually don't chew the milky latex of the sapodilla tree, either, but DID as a KID!). So, dough may have to do, and is what they asked me for, anyway. Sometimes.

Simple.

Best rgds,

--Joe

avisitor
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by avisitor » Fri Apr 26, 2019 11:51 pm

desert_woodworker wrote:
Fri Apr 26, 2019 11:38 pm
I don't get it (wouldn't be the first, nor prob. last, time).

People ask for dough, I give it, if I've got. What's the mystery? It's just natural.
Hi Joe,
I did not want everyone to focus upon the money
When in life, it isn't just about money

Is a person less of a person because they made a mistake, like parking in someone else's parking lot?
It should not diminish our capacity for compassion.
Not compassion in terms of giving money.
For a man like you, I see your time is more valuable.
If you spent a minute to talk to those, who ask for money, they would be better off.
Don't ask .. talk about what. That would depend on the situation.
A few simple words from you, and it could change someone's life.

This is how I felt about it.
If you ask for money and give me a sob story then my reflex, from living in NYC's lower income areas, pops up .. a shield
I should have spent more time talking with this woman. To ask about her life and the reason for parking there.
And why she thinks about her children now instead of when she decided to park there.
But, to dismiss her as many do with the homeless ... what is a person?

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desert_woodworker
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by desert_woodworker » Sat Apr 27, 2019 12:02 am

Give her a few bucks from out the spud. Half a day's relief (?) is a lot when on the street. I was out only 6 months once, but can testify that a little counts for a lot. And of course words and an honest look from the eyes into the eyes is priceless. But needs have to be met, if they can be. If I can help, I help. Well, so I learned. :556:

Enough said out of me, I'll leave it to the theme in the OP!,

rgds,

--Joe

avisitor
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by avisitor » Sat Apr 27, 2019 12:04 am

desert_woodworker wrote:
Sat Apr 27, 2019 12:02 am
Give her a few bucks from out the spud. Half a day's relief (?) is a lot when on the street. I was out only 6 months once, but can testify that a little counts for a lot. And of course words and an honest look from the eyes into the eyes is priceless. But needs have to be met, if they can be. If I can help, I help. Well, so I learned. :556:

Enough said out of me, I'll leave it to the theme in the OP!,

rgds,

--Joe
Thanks for the replies.
I see your point
Hope you understand me

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desert_woodworker
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by desert_woodworker » Sat Apr 27, 2019 12:07 am

Av, hi,

I hope so, too!

I think the title of this thread is a good one for us to review, to view, and to review again. And maybe once or twice over, after that, to review again.

Then, just keep on with practice as we've learned it, or re-double it.

"Always breaking new ground"!, is what I try to advocate.

--Joe

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Great Sage EofH
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by Great Sage EofH » Sat Apr 27, 2019 12:59 am

It falls under the general heading of "When Life Becomes Unmanageable" - I'm not judging the person but the behavior. Being helpful in some small way is not wrong.
"We are magical animals that roam" ~~ Roam

avisitor
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by avisitor » Sat Apr 27, 2019 3:36 am

Great Sage EofH wrote:
Sat Apr 27, 2019 12:59 am
It falls under the general heading of "When Life Becomes Unmanageable" - I'm not judging the person but the behavior. Being helpful in some small way is not wrong.
The person has their own Karma to work out.
How we deal with such situations tells us about our self.
In judging others, we judge ourselves.
Some can see this and some do not.

I thank you for your comments.

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fuki
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by fuki » Sat Apr 27, 2019 11:32 am

avisitor wrote:
Fri Apr 26, 2019 8:53 pm
She asked for help from you.
Pleads with you, saying she has no money to pay to get her car out
And she needs to get home to her children
I couldn't say specifically, since the correct function in the moment depends on the situation, circumstance (causes and conditions) and isn't about picking and choosing nor a mental movement.
But as I read the story now, I would offer her money for a bus ticket to get home and/or she can make a phone call if she wished, I usually don't "bend" for people pleading, because the motive of pleading is often manipulative, I usually help out when people don't ask but I see they could use some help, or at least when they don't ask for things they don't need (or think they need) I agree with Joe, just do what's Natural at any given moment, one has no control over how things take shape, only one's own motive, and a natural "motive" is also not conceptual, though it may be a helpful tool, mostly it distords since ppl use intellect and logic to project their self-contraction unto people and events, tools are just tools, not to be used to perpetuate a self-(world)-narrative, in realization of two-fold Emptiness, everything functions in correct service effortlessly.
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fuki
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by fuki » Sat Apr 27, 2019 11:33 am

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ps read something on Keith's fb page where he shared a quote;
"Do something nice for someone, and don't get caught." :hatsoff:
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https://meldpuntbg.nl/

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Spike
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by Spike » Sat Apr 27, 2019 2:59 pm

Since the woman said she had children waiting at home, the first thing is to make sure they are and will be safe. If no cell, your store phone can be offered so she can call home and speak with the caregiver about the kids, and also maybe get herself help that way. Explore if other resources exist, like family, neighbors, friends, etc. for this situation. Most likely, there is someone she can emergency contact. Avoid giving money--this might enable her problem. Free social service programs offer all kinds of counseling and referrals, everything from MH to how to budget. Churches etc. do too. These options might be useful long-term if her situation is not a one-off.

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Larry
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by Larry » Sat Apr 27, 2019 3:18 pm

fuki wrote:
Sat Apr 27, 2019 11:32 am
But as I read the story now, I would offer her money for a bus ticket to get home
That was also my first thought. Or, at most, pay for a taxi. I don't understand $300 versus nothing.

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fuki
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by fuki » Sat Apr 27, 2019 3:25 pm

Spike wrote:
Sat Apr 27, 2019 2:59 pm
Avoid giving money--this might enable her problem.
That's what I was referring to with the "pleading" thingy, but for me in each situation it's clear when to or not to give money, can't make much sense out of an internet situation/memory.
But it's really about the correct situation and function (whatever may manifest)
there's no such thing as a "right life" life is universal creativity and re-cognizing the sameness of each experience in the play, i.e. attention to the 'source' instead of focussing on the appearance, otherwise the knot of dualism just keeps getting tighter. (ofcourse 'what is' and 'what we are' are not-two)
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fuki
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by fuki » Sat Apr 27, 2019 3:26 pm

Larry wrote:
Sat Apr 27, 2019 3:18 pm
That was also my first thought. Or, at most, pay for a taxi. I don't understand $300 versus nothing.
Indeed, also mentioning kids etc is usually manipulative too (speaking in general, I wasn't there)
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Spike
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Re: Trying to live a right life

Post by Spike » Sat Apr 27, 2019 3:41 pm

$300 tow fee seems too high by a factor of 3, so sounds like a scam. Five hours doing what? Mentioning kids does seem manipulative, but best to see a call home and rule out danger. Next call could be social services hotline.

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